#and that did is being used so insensitively
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yamishika · 8 days ago
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100YQ Rant/Criticism
SPOILERS FOR FT 100YQ INCLUDED
I have been following FT 100YQ and have seen a lot of moments that just made me go ‘hmm okay, doesn’t make sense but alright’, and there have been a lot of moments of just the plot/narrative being broken for convenience sake. It has gotten under my skin many times, but as a Jellal fan, one of the biggest offenses and one that makes me scratch my head a lot is from chapter 144.  Don't read ahead if you don't want to be spoiled about a big reveal on his character or on 100YQ.
144 : Beyond Sins.
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Now initially when this chapter came out, I really loved it since it was the first time we had a backstory in ages and it being Jellal’s, I ate it all up.
But there was something in this chapter that made absolutely no sense narrative wise when I looked back with fresh eyes and wasn’t riding the high of getting Jellal’s backstory/anything Jellal related.
That being.
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This panel.
We’re told not even a page into the chapter, Jellal’s real name is ‘Siegrain’, a name which we know from the previous narrative and was hinted throughout arcs to be like an alter persona for Jellal. 
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This chapter goes on to basically confirm that Jellal canonically has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), a trauma response that must have manifested given all the stress and changes that happened in his life from losing his father young, watching his mother die by the slavers and then being taken into slavery, having his whole trajectory he planned for his life ruined etc. 
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This is an understandable trauma response, and I would love to have seen it properly explored with understanding in regards to Jellal/Sieg’s character. It would have been so interesting to see how Jellal’s trauma at the tower manifested in a split personality and how he coped with the situation as he was cited to be notably different to all those around him 
‘A Leader’
‘One who doesn’t cry’
‘The strong boy’. 
This chapter basically confirms that this character he created was a way to mask his own insecurities and cope in the unknown environment.
However, that’s not where my gripe is.
Because as much as I was interested in the idea of Jellal’s trauma manifesting as DID, it’s the way that the narrative has gone about it which butchers everything else and makes no sense in a narration sense.
The man who we are told his name has always been ‘Jellal’ is now revealed to us by this flashback chapter to have actually had the name ‘Siegrain’ as his birth name. 
This on it’s own is boggling but wouldn’t have caused such breaks in the narrative, but the fact that this very chapter contradicts a chapter in a previous arc with Jellal in the Gears fight, this is where it just stops making sense.
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In order to beat Gears in chapter 57, Jellal takes out ‘Siegrain’, the man whom he claims is the carrier of his sins, which in accordance to other arcs of Fairy Tail makes sense since we see the Siegrain persona being the most active in regards to infiltrating the magic council, getting the etherion fired etc.
But now we have in not even 100 chapters after this, it’s revealed to us that Jellal’s name isn’t Jellal at all, but ‘Siegrain’. How can Siegrain be the one carrying Jellal’s sins, when Siegrain is the main identity/person  that Jellal was created from? 
It just doesn’t add up.
And if that isn’t narrative breaking enough, Jellal’s name actually being ‘Siegrain’ causes a whole other narrative hole too.
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This guy.
Mystogan.
Mystogan’s real name is Jellal, just like if not all Edolan counterparts share the same first name of their earthland counterparts (e.g. Natsu Dragion, Lucy Ashely, Erza Knightwalker, Gray Surge etc). But being told now all of a sudden that Jellal changed his birth name doesn't work for Mystogan, as are we meant to believe that Mystogan conveniently changed his name to be ‘Jellal’ to match his earthland counterpart who was going through a mental crisis?
Mystogan, the one who’s whole thing was to keep his identity hidden and it’s Faust, the one who calls him out the name as Jellal. The one who is meant to be his father/father figure? Mystogan, who somehow has the name Jellal, a name Erza wasn’t even allowed to mention out of the Tower, which makes sense for him to have it if his counterpart had that birth name, but apparently that’s not the case?
I know I am probably just beating a dead horse now and I should get over it, but I just needed to write something since my head was struggling to make sense of the reveal for a long time. I don’t know what exactly is added to the story by Jellal’s birth name being ‘Siegrain’ other than shock value. Like what does this plot twist actually do? Nothing.
Other than it just makes the whole narrative so messy now and I don’t like it. If the aspect of DID was to be introduced for Jellal’s character, then what was wrong with Jellal being the host? And Siegrain being the alter that manifested as a trauma response?
It could have been something intriguing and insightful to explore, bring awareness about different trauma responses and also add a new layer to his character beyond just extremes of misguidance and the need for redemption.
But no.
God this just makes no sense.
I’m sorry for ranting, after seeing the Gears fight animated, it reminded me of THAT reveal and I just saw glaring plot holes which I completely blindsided the first time I read the chapter.  And what makes me even more annoyed is the DID aspect is probably just another plot convenience that is most likely never going to be brought up again ever.
And I’ve already said how I don’t like something serious such as trauma being used as a plot device.
Which it clearly is in this case.
The only way I can make sense of both events existing, is that it shows that Siegrain is so disassociated from his sense of self, that he has decided to adopt the identity of Jellal completely, killing his born self for the sake of the present and going as far to believe that Siegrain is the made one and not 'Jellal'.
However then that opens up a whole new discussion...One I might cover another day, but i'm afraid this is getting long enough as it is.
But yeah, thank you for listening to my ramblings if you’ve stayed this long.
I wonder if anyone else felt the same about the reveal as someone who likes Jellal's character? Or just has been following the story? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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triglycercule · 18 days ago
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less of horrordust eating face and killer watches more of them mauling eachother. also killer watches
#horrordust need more beef smh#triglycercule werent you just months ago saying you loved domestic horrordust#a man can believe in two statements and have both of them be true#dust wants to be punished for what he did. horror doesn't. they both try to drag eachother down in the process#killer is a third entity entirely. arent they all seperate entities. yes but he's different for some reason idk#killer has that feeling of zoning out mid trio hang out but the other 2 guys keep chilling without you and it's lowkey nice#killer i love trios because i can just dissociate and stare at a tree while they entertain eachother sans#the horrordust beef would be mutual in my eyes WHAT DO YOU MEAN DUST HATES KILLER BUT DISMISSES HORROR#are we talking about the same horror here. the same horror that tricked his papyrus into feeding and eating human meat#the same horror that tricked HIS ENTIRE SNOWDIN into eating humans#the same horror that purposefully taunts and plays around with the humans he kills#the same horror that is KNOWN for being manipulative and unnecessarily cruel for no fucking reason#yeah dust would hate the shit out of him highkey#both of them have which one of us was justified in what we did competitions#winner: NOBODY (it's killer it's killer that ends up winning that fight)#i mean horror would hate dust too i feel like this one is more obvious#KILLING papyrus. KILLING the underground. not being able to withstand the resets instead of choosing to kill#oh horror would be so fucking insensitive about resets to dust and killer#hes never experienced it he wouldnt know how bad it was and him being him....... he's gonna be a DICK#i think horror would hate the concept of phantom papyrus too because like#it's proof that dust did kill paps and for some reason he likes this FAKE version more than the real thing????#dust should be sadder about killing paps in horror's eyes (technically EYE but wtvr)#they maul eachother and also eat face is the hidden 3rd part of this post. and this time killer joins#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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bunnihearted · 4 months ago
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𓂃 àŁȘ˖ ֎ֶ֞𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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heart-forge · 1 month ago
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you ever have that moment when you're writing where like, your brain is clickity clacking along and then it says a word and you're like. girl did you just make that up where did that come from.
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kavehater · 1 month ago
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Man I just give up.
#dora daily#if only there was a way to just stop everything#idk if I want to die but I want everything to stop#like so many times I go out or smth and something bad happens#or I get triggered in public and I try so hard not to lose myself and start drama in public but I just can’t#every time I show any emotion people start laughing#I can’t even try to stop myself from bawling in the middle of the store without someone#just being so insensitive and rude and diminishing how I feel#you know I say I’m never mad and that is true bc I may seem mad a lot online but I’m not like this irl#but for the first time I actually got mad at someone irl and I was literally gonna beat him#I was genuinely seething so bad it’s not fair and things keep getting worse and worse#I was so close to just throwing this stupid phone and shattering it and ripping up those dumbass#birthday cards they sell in the store#and that stupid bitch of a sister I have is so fucking stupid#she sees someone anxious and incredibly upset and she acts like that ? fuck her#like bro idek how I have lived for this long and idek why I don’t go and just overdose on SOMETHING right now because#logically speaking I should just give up#but I don’t know why I can’t#like please my life is literal shit okay is replying on time so hard for you to fucking do so I don’t go even more insane fuck all of youuuu#UGHHHDJSOS#I SWEAR TO GOD I am so sick of this just you all wait#none of you deserve normal treatment all you deserve is something even worse than ghosting#just you wait let this stupid semester end and I’ll deactivate my socials go speak to the fucking wall you morons#you think I’m gonna wait around what are you paying me to be here ? if anything IM paying with my sanity#like if this was related to a spouse who was a billionaire but he was treating me as shittily as you guys treat me then I’ll say fine#at least I’m getting something out of this transaction who gives a fuck#but im not getting paid#im not receiving support#I’m getting laughed at and ignored#and used only at YOUR CONVENIENCE !!! what the FUCK ! I don’t exist for anyone and certainly not yall even if I did.
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gu6chan · 6 months ago
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Sometimes I think about my very short-lived experience watching Happy Sugar Life and how the only real potent "message" i got from it was through the fanbase with the realisation "wow okay so we are NOT past the 'women can't be paedophiles' narrative huh" because i remember so gleefully checking the comments only to be hit with shit like "they didn't have sex so i don't think it's paedophilia" or "given her past i don't think she INTENDED paedophilia" or the time i saw an rp blog for the mc like "I interpret it as platonic :)))" like mc wasn't dressing an 8 year old up in a wedding dress, grooming her, doing vows, kissing her on the mouth and making plans for how they'd elope and marry each other
Like okay, you're entitled to your interpretations ofc but at what point does it stop being an interpretation and start turning into cope because this is NOT the topic you want to do that with!!!!!!
#gu6chan's musings#the rp blog in PARTICULAR pissed me off (perhaps personally speaking as a mun who tries to be as BLUNT with this as possible) bc its like#some of yall really want to rp fucked up and problematic characters until they get actually fucked up and problematic; huh#like i get it we ALL have limits but MAYBE before tackling a subject so sensitive you could just..... maybe think 'this muse isn't for me'#instead of TAKING OUT THE MAIN FOCUS OF HER CHARACTER AND WIDDLING IT DOWN TO 'PLATONIC'???? do u know how insensitive that is to actual#grooming and CSA victims. maybe im overreacting!!!!! but literally; when it comes to this: do it straight or dont do it at all#it was an experience and as painful as it is im glad in a way it IS two girls because for an otherwise trashy anime it sure did open my eye#to how how high the bar needs to be set before women can be considered 'paedophiles' and not just 'awww; she's so fond of kids :)'#ESPECIALLY given the mandatory anime tragic backstory!!!! because the amount of people using that as justification as for why she WASN'T#seeing shio romantically was.... *crumples*#like yeah; right!!! bc as we all know victims don't become abusers at all and when they do theyre 100% aware of it#im just saying#y'all would NEVER have pulled this shit if it was being done with two dudes and it shows#'leonard isn't in LOVE with seere; he just made out with him in SR because he was projecting his grief. he doesnt know how to show it :('#<- how some of these bitches sounded fr#anyways its happy sugar life it's not that serious 😭 yall are still stupid tho
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tarantula-hawk-wasp · 2 years ago
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God adulthood sucks like you only have so many hours in a day and younger me would have spent 4 hours of a Sunday drawing and instead I cleaned my living room floor and furniture bc of the pipe flood on the 9th and like im not gonna get tumblr clout and external validation for vacuuming and mopping my apartment the way I would for a drawing that took me 3 hours
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vaasistdas · 2 years ago
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I am so fuckin. Tired and pissed lol
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ritzcuit · 5 months ago
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bemoaning mental health rn m
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flagellant · 2 years ago
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Here you all go. Here's the answer to all the questions you never had about soy sauce and a single foreigner's totalitarian influence being a large part in leading to a massive decline in quality and a departure from important cultural traditions. There will never be a 2 hour video essay from me about this. There will never be a book about Blanche Appleton that I write. I had the closest thing I've had to a suicidal episode since I was 13 because of someone harassing me and deciding against literally all evidence that what I had in the end publicized was a racist and insensitive narrative rather than a carefully researched history pieced together with a team of multiple professional archivists internationally and a group of native Japanese speakers and Japanese academics.
I'll give all of you some free advice. Next time you get excited about your special interest on tumblr, don't talk about it.
I cannot fucking believe how much I'm losing my mind right now over soy sauce history. I'll tell all of you about it after I finish this essay because I need to un-distract myself enough to finish it but what the fuck? What the fuck is going on? I'm losing my fucking mind.
EDIT: if this is in your recommended page before you askme any questions about updates or whatever please just check the tag i'm using
EDITx2: this investigation is currently ongoing with live information being added as it is confirmed as relevant; I did not expect the entire internet to give a shit about soy sauce, and so early in the investigation there is quite a lot of outdated information, which has since been corrected, grown more in-depth, and begun to piece together into something more cohesive.
i am currently waiting on a response from the National Archives, a soybean innovation laboratory contact, and a researcher of the works of the Chief Historian of the United States during the occupation. this investigation is not an ARG, and in the real world, actual research takes time on a scale outside of the usual social media expectations. please respect that i cannot speed up the wheels of bureaucracy for you.
please just fucking respect me as a person, y'all, i promise that any of you reading this from recommended pages have absolutely no idea the level of shit that's been thrown my way over fucking soy sauce.
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inkskinned · 1 month ago
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i was raised by a catholic deacon so as a kid - maybe ages 7 to 14 - i would have told you that abortion was only okay in exception cases like rape. i didn't even really understand any of the terms at play here, only how to parrot that there were "few and far between" exceptions, but abortion-as-a-whole was irresponsible and evil. i believed it was a bad form of birth control.
for context's sake - i still had a flip phone. google wasn't really a thing back then. the whole narrative was akin to the apostle's creed: i don't know that i ever thought about what the words meant, only that this was what i was supposed to say when asked. i remember being in 4th grade and having it down pat - abortion is evil, except in cases such as rape. my father wasn't insensitive, after all - he acknowledged there might be medical necessity to end a life.
what changed was that at 14 i learned how hard it is to prove that a rape has happened.
it was a boy, actually. and his piano teacher. and him telling me, crying, that nobody believed him that he didn't want it. and what if she gets pregnant?
this is the mark in a lot of our lives: at some point, someone will confide in you, and then you see exactly how often it happens. how it happens so fucking loudly, and nobody says anything. how often your friends, nervous, will shakily admit that while they love their partner, there are a few times that they didn't really consent, that they didn't really want it. for others, there are nights half-remembered in bars. for others, they married their partner at 15, so now it's "fine", legally. for others, there are yes moments that felt like a no. there were no moments that were never acknowledged. you say no but are told you actually said yes because of what you were wearing or because he is good at swimming and his life would be ruined or because he's a nice guy or -
in the last 8 years, my father has become radicalized. he now believes in "no exceptions".
but the truth is that there was never going to be a true "exception" clause. there was never going to be a grey area. i am not even really sure they believe in the concept of rape. and if they did - how would you ever prove it? in the six weeks you have to state your case - when it takes years in a court of law - the "rape exception" would simply evaporate under the continued pregnancy. you were never going to have a moment where you could privately tell a doctor - it's because of a rape. there was no box you could check. there was no form you could file. it was always going to be assumed consensual until proven malignant. it was always going to be your fault.
they also knew they couldn't actually sell the rest of us on this idea of it's always blessed. they knew in their hearts that every pregnancy should be wanted. they knew going in that plenty of us - even raised catholic, even having had this shoved down our throats - plenty of us still had too many questions about what ifs.
it's just they just didn't want to come off as monsters. they patted our heads and taught us they weren't insensitive. they just had these beliefs. and then they put their hands on our bodies. and said if you don't listen, i'm going to force them.
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mccromy · 3 months ago
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Thinking of Luo Bingge trying to seduce a nice Shizun for himself and failing miserably.
LBG, used to women throwing themselves at his feet just by being in their proximity, utterly confused as SY won't also fall to his knees and beg to be ravished. He doesn't even have a LBH of his own, LBG checked!!!
SY thinks he's handsome and charming and sooo cool, but also LBG will surely kill him if he steps out of line :) no thanks :). And as he finds himself being subjected to over the top courtship attempts, he thinks LBG must want something from him. info? Treasures? No need for this charade, Junshang, you just need to ask!
One time, they get sex pollened and LBG is like "finally! Now he'll beg me to help him with my magical Heavenly demon cum" and SY will just stab himself until the pain and adrenaline overwhelm the horniness and he bleeds out the poison because 1) he's straight! And more importantly "I would never put Luo Binghe in a situation in which he doesn't have the choice to say no!"
LBG is stumped, heals him quickly with his magical Heavenly demon blood, and remains in a state of shock for a week. Also, for some reason he can't stand the sight of Qin Wanyue anymore.
When he does finally pull that bad bitch, he doesn't get rid of his harem (love alone can't heal this man. He also craves the attention as he craves air) and SY understands it. He had his moment, now is time to vanish into the harem and stay the fuck away from Harem politics.
LBG goes to check his new husband, it's been a week since they had some time together, longer since their wedding night, and the sense of accomplishment remains. (Take that Inferior Luo Binghe! Superior Luo Binghe had bitches AND a nice Shizun!) And tries to seduce him into bed, but SY being SY needs to do a little song and dance before getting plowed and LBG has no clue what's going on.
Why won't he say yes immediately?? What do you mean with "aiyah... I'm a bit occupied"??? You're?? My husband??? Open your legs??? Oh! You need to be seduced more?? Alright, I'll do it.
And he tries to tempt him like he does all his wives, bedroom eyes and a deep voice and soft touches and. It. Won't. Fucking. work.
SY doesn't want coaxing! He doesn't know what he actually wants but for some reason this is not doing anything for him (he wants tears and pouts, something that LBG is too prideful to even think about trying).
After a few more attempts Shen Yuan feels his pussy dry out of frustration and goes:
"You know what, Binghe? Just go ask another wife, I'm not in the mood now." And LBG is like,
"Ah my dear husband is jealous, no need, you, exclusively, may have this lord for the night."
And SY is like, offended, because he is actually a bit jealous but how does LBG dare say that out loud?? How insensitive!! Spare this old man some face!! To be a man jealous of those flowers perfuming your garden is so humiliating!! And SY, petty bitch that he is, raises an eyebrow and says, "Perhaps my lord should visit lady (name of wife #78) she has been more neglected than this husband, so she needs our Lord more than I."
LBG gets forceful in his frustration because he wants DICK and HOLE, not HOLE and HOLE! and SY palm strikes him and sends LBG flying. LBG shakes off the dust and stomps fuming towards wife #78's room. Then, unsatisfied, goes to visit five more wives until the sun rises.
After that SY gets snappish and cold and poor LBG is SO triggered.
SY: *glares at him over his fan*
LBG: this reminds me of something that I do NOT want to think about. No, sir. Don't like how it feels.
What did he do?? Why do even the nice Shizuns reject him?? Is there actually something wrong with him??? No. No, it can be.
He'll show his husband! He's rejecting him, hm? LBG will reject him back!! He'll ignore him!!! See how he likes it! Hmph!! He'll come crawling back.
He doesn't. Shen Yuan takes this as a sign Luo Bingge can't be satisfied by a man and, hurt and angry, just lets him.
And Shen Yuan becomes quite the unfavored "wife" and thus a victim of Harem plotting, and he asks to be sent to another residence, much to Luo Bingge's ire. His request gets denied, and SY, feeling like an unwanted pet whose owner refuses to give away out of a sense of ownership, turns even colder towards Luo Bingge.
LBG is a fucking mess. He tries to make SY jealous, let's himself get caught balls deep in the wife of the week by SY. Flaunts his favoritism for others and makes SY watch. But SY doesn't show any reaction to any of it. And when he does, it's just disappointment.
But he's not disappointed that he isn't the one sitting on LBG's lap (something clear in some other wives faces, who stare at the chosen wife resentfully) he's disappointed in Luo Bingge.
And Luo Bingge can tell the difference.
(Sometimes, Shen Yuan thinks, what's cool in fiction is just... Sad and hurtful in real life.)
Luo Bingge does a 180 and now tries to seduce him by courting him like he did before getting married. But Shen Yuan, unlike the other wives, doesn't just forget and forgive the shit Luo Binghe pulled before. He's not snappish, but quiet, still disappointed, sad. He seems to have fallen out of love. And no matter what Luo Bingge does he can't make him fall in love again.
He's tried everything, no matter what he does he just can't close the breach between them.
Luo Bingge just can't win with this man.
And Shen Yuan has not fallen out of love, he's just realized how petty and sad his husband is. And he doesn't know how to reach him, how to help him. LBG thinks they're playing cat and mouse and doesn't realize he actually hurt SY. And when he finally apologizes, SY remarks that he's apologizing that SY was so hurt over LBG's treatment, and not for giving him said treatment. LBG can't understand the difference.
And SY knows him, knows him better than LBG will ever know. And he says he forgives him, but LBG can't tell if he means it or not.
SY does mean it. Because he understands why LBG did what he did, and although it was not right, LBG didn't know any better now, did he? SY won't take this peace of mind away from him just because LBG didn't meet his expectations.
He's not angry, he just feels pity.
Things become amicable once again, but LBG can tell things have not been swept under the rug. Yet SY is just as sweet as he used to be, but there's something different.
SY's touch is no longer reverent nor feverish, but careful. As if LBG is fragile, and LBG both hates and is addicted to it.
LBG can't read him, can't understand him. So he assumes that SY is planning to betray him and is feeling guilty. Ah, his husband allied himself with someone else while LBG and him were at odds? Perhaps? And now he regrets it? No matter, it has happened before with (name of wives #23, #190 and #304) he can take whatever comes.
Nothing happens.
It's driving LBG crazy.
So he tries to force SY to confess, he engineers a kidnapping or something to force him to sell LBG away to his enemies. To spill a secret, anything! In the end things get out of hand and whoever LBG hired turns against him.
SY realizes what's happening mid kidnap and groans. WHY. WHY DEAR HUSBAND? THIS IS SO TRITE?? He told him he wasn't mad!! Is he really trying to gotcha! Him?? Unbelievable.
Many things happen after that.
SY is forced to drink poison that makes his spiritual energy lethal to demons. And LBG'S human cultivation is sealed, so only his demon side is active. The thing is, the poison can eventually kill whoever drinks it if they don't pass it away, even if they're human, the corrosion turns on them. LBG tries to take the tainted spiritual energy for himself. But SY absorbs it, willing it to kill him quicker, not taking any chances. And calls LBG silly and rash, and LBG realizes SY knows they're in this situation because of him. And bursts out crying.
SY kisses him, tells him he forgives him, and he better believe him this time, huh?
SY dies.
LBG tries to revive him in the holy mausoleum but every time the soul enters SY's body the poison kills him again. The poison kills LBG'S blood mites, too. It has fused with Shen Yuan's cells, a product of him absorbing it, and now his body is unable to live longer than what it takes for Shen Yuan to take a first and last breath.
LBG traps SY's soul inside a locket and carries him everywhere. Touches it constantly to make sure it was there. The gesture both familiar and confusing until he remembers he once had a mother who'd gifted him a pendant that he lost many, many decades ago.
How could he have forgotten it?
After years of desperation, he reads about the sun-moon dew mushroom. And when he goes searching for it, he realizes the realm merger killed off all the sun-moon dew mushroom seeds.
He crumbles.
And only then he finally understands his husband and why their marriage never worked.
Because LBG didn't actually love SY. He was possessive of him, yes, attracted to him. But he did not love him, he just used him to prove that other Luo Binghe he could have it all, an empire, an harem, and a Shen Qingqiu. (Shen Yuan, his name was Shen Yuan. He hated it when Luo Binghe called him Shizun, why did he keep insisting?)
Luo Bingge never loved Shen Yuan.
But Shen Yuan did love him.
He saw him for the beast he was and took him into his arms. Luo Bingge never had to prove himself to Shen Yuan, and no matter how he tried to hide the most shameful parts of him, Shen Yuan could see them clear as day, and loved him all the same.
He held Luo Bingge's flaws like something fragile, he protected them.
He didn't hold them over his head, like Luo Bingge would've done.
He didn't love him in spite of them, like his wives did.
Shen Yuan looked at the cruelest man in the world and, even after being subjected to Luo Bingge's cruelty, kept him close to his heart so the world didn't have the opportunity to make him crueler.
And Luo Bingge killed him.
And in that moment, when he finally was able to under his husband, Luo Bingge falls in love with Shen Yuan.
He came back to his palace and locked himself in his late husband's rooms, became mournful, lost interest in sex and food and bloodshed. Held that precious locket in his hands and wept.
Until one day, he began hearing Shen Yuan's voice. Faintly, as if far away. And then just as clear as if his husband whispered in his ear.
The locket had become cursed by harbouring a human soul for so long. But Shen Yuan never asked anything impossible of him, never tried to hurt him as any other cursed artifact would do.
He'd ask him to sleep, to please eat. To cook, doesn't he love to cook? Why don't you try again? He'd say, "Ah, Binghe, look up! That's a Silver Blood Hummingbird ! Oh, I thought they were extinct, isn't it beautiful?"
And Luo Bingge with only a voice for company, the love of a man he could not touch, would finally find the peace that eluded him his entire life. He'd understand that other inferior Luo Binghe, and he'd abandon his palace, leave his empire in disarray no matter how much Shen Yuan nagged at him to "take responsibility!"
He'd search for creatures and plants that went extinct after he so thoughtlessly united the realms. He'd find some, hidden away in small pockets of space, untouched by his sword. Some still thriving in hidden realms. And he'd hear as his husband excitedly tells him all there's to know about them. He'd cook and set an extra plate, let Shen Yuan guide him until he finally learned to play the guqin, an opportunity he was robbed of many years ago.
And one day, hidden from the world and greedy hands, he'd find a grove filled with thriving sun-moon dew mushrooms.
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kazoo-world · 7 months ago
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okay. i debated not posting this because I was worried I’d get death threats (that says a lot doesn’t it) but it needs to be said, because its upsetting me.
a woman who publicly says she feels very sane and has “never been to therapy” and who breaks up with her boyfriend in part because he can’t just “”get over”” his depression to love her the way she wants/needs does not.
I repeat, does not.
get to use the imagery she did in her fortnight video.
I’ve been seeing gifsets and screenshots all day of her chained to a bed but ~aesthetic~ and being fed a pill after a cheeky side eye and strapped to a glamourfied ECT machine and no one has said anything about it so I will. those images are genuinely triggering for me.
people have been restrained, forcefed pills, and given electroconvulsive therapy or subjected to the electric chair for severe mental illness against their will. these are not fun props anyone gets to throw around to express that they feel depressed or in a “manic phase” or like they were “raised in an asylum.”
she doesn’t know how a real asylum fried my grandmother’s brain or real cops restrained me because I was psychotic and manic. she doesn’t know what it feels like to be dehumanised that way.
do better. demand she do better, too.
edit: I say that this content is triggering to say that it causes real harm. I do still have a responsibility to myself to curate an internet experience for myself. this does not negate her responsibility to avoid replicating harmful tropes in art which is deeply influential. she does not get to co-opt institutionalization or psychiatric violence as a romanticized aesthetic or as a metaphor because real people like myself have suffered greatly under the things she is representing as glamorous or cool. institutionalization silences and violates mentally ill people in a way that marginalizes them, and that experience should be treated with sensitivity and care rather than being commodified to reduce stigma. if she had experienced these things, I might feel differently, but other ableist content on the record and her statements on her life and art indicate otherwise. she is a woman with immense privilege and power and should not be using that privilege and power to punch down on mental illness.
edit 2: I want you all to know I have seen your criticism. I will not edit the post but I do respect that she has had mental health struggles since that outdated quote. That is my mistake, I own that. My apologies.
However, mental health struggles =/ experience with psychiatric violence. Experiences of mental illness are heterogenous. Aestheticizing, romanticizing, and glamourizing mental hospitals is straight up gross regardless of your experience with mental illness. It’s tasteless and offensive.
I do understand metaphors. I think that her calling her life an asylum as a metaphor is in poor taste. I think her representing her relationship struggles with the imagery of a mental institution is insensitive given the impacts that real asylums and mental hospitals have had on my life and the lives of many others like me, so I had to say something about it.
It’s ableist to assume that critics of your fav “can’t read”, “don’t understand a metaphor” or “don’t have brains” when they clearly demonstrate that they are thinking critically. Do better.
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daydreamerdrew · 2 years ago
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Iron Man (1968) #62
#ooh super interested that this is becoming a broader theme in the book#first that Happy is leaving Pepper because he doesn’t want her to work but she’s not satisfied being a housewife#and now that this employee of Tony’s is struggling to balance her career and her relationship#this woman proudly introduces herself as ‘S.I.’s first woman plant manager’#which Tony doesn’t directly comment on#then Tony compliments her assistant and fiancĂ© on his ‘fine choice in women’#and he doesn’t say anything about that guy suggesting that she’ll leave her job once she gets married#but he thinks of how Pepper must be privately reacting to it#but he recognizes that this guy is vying for his fiancé’s job and thinks of him as insensitive#but the guy is trying to get Tony’s favor and has some hope that that all came across well to Tony#he tried to relate to Tony with the ïżœïżœïżœbetween us men’ thing#I think it’s interesting how Tony’s reputation as a playboy is presumably coming into play here#he’s probably not all about the sanctity of marriage but I don’t think he’s expected to have a high view of women either#but I think he can be assumed to trust women in important jobs since this woman has one at his company#also the way Pepper and Happy’s marriage falling apart has been written#did not register to me as that we were intended to take away a strong negative opinion of Happy#more that they’re two people with different needs and so weren’t able to make it work#but this guy here is secretly a supervillain who’s desire to get his fiancé’s job by marrying her to she becomes his housewife#is definitely intended to come across that he’s terrible#so far I like the way this woman caring about her career has been portrayed#I think the way Pepper’s been portrayed has been nice but she’s a secretary#so it’s different in that she’s not keeping a job traditionally done by men from a man that’s actively vying for it#marvel#tony stark#pepper potts#my posts#comic panels
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astonmartinii · 5 months ago
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i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader
life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous
MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others
yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you
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user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought
user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again
user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?
user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that
user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was
maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.
user169: what the fuck
maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)
user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older
maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen
user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything
fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock
user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"
fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both
user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one
user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie
user175: he's in the likes?
user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support
oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock
maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way
olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum
pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say
fernandoalo_oficial: đŸ«¶
sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end
user177: still no charles ???
user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place
maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?
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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals
user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed
yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)
maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics
yourusername: i'm trying đŸ€ž
maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?
yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested
maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong
yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card
charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM
this comment was liked by the author and @yourusername
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user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello
user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up
user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him
user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport
oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max
maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well
oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules
maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER
oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME
maxverstappen1: she would NEVER
oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...
liked by @charles_leclerc
user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC
user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie
user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing
liked by @yourusername
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carlossainz55
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carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.
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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
user192: not the childhood dog too ???
user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating
user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole
maxverstappen1: get fucked
carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it
maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had
carlossainz55: she cost me my dream
maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS
carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood
maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport
user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry
user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two
user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP
charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL
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charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you
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charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are
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user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?
user199: i bet it's ferrari
user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually
user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE
yourusername: old habits die screaming
carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway
yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning
user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low
user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre
georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me
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charles_leclerc
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others
charles_leclerc: lets go racing.
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user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement
user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post
user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE
user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef
liked by @yourusername
maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience
maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters
oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force
olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN
user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?
olliebearman: whoops
user210: ollie coming for kid of the year
olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear
user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?
maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals
user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE
user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n
user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment
carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much
maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad
oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?
maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour
user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^
user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free
user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year
user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 934,520 others
yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart
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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?
user224: it's finished?
user225: that's what the spanish media are saying
user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?
maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you
user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?
yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL
maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?
yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL
maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent
yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(
oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES
maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?
oscarpiastri: maybe i did
yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants
olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x
yourusername: i'm glad
olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?
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maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?
user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?
user227: please tell me he's been been in good care
yourusername: he's been my rock đŸ€ž
user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(
user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post
user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up
user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?
user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(
user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference
user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)
user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous
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fin.
note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx
extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx
taglist: in comments!
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